Snow Storm Chapter Four

     Jeremy James- My Journal of Carcasses

     Today I locked myself in my bathroom. looking in the mirror I invesstigate my face and take stock of marks and imperfections.  I stare at myself and sstick out my tongue. pink and swolled, I watch, as saliva surges to the tip, and drips a drop into the sink.

     i am depressed. i have annoying urges to do-things. just things,anything. I am so childish and sometimes that can give me away. im annoyed right now.  searching for lighters and phones, the lighter especially bother me. No lighter and  cant do my job.sucks i find it and it could fanish anytime.probably to the place where missing things live. i always get nocked in the head for nnot taking the trash out. i do this the next week, magots are always cool to watch.

                                wed

is the second day of this hurricaine. good Day to write.

     Jeremy has pulled a sheef of papers from the pile he adores calling,

                         5 ft. and losing, 'old shit carcusses.'

     Here he writes his horrible dreams of reality.

                                July 2008

recently, fire ants have been, have been on my mind. i dont see the purpose for them, they bite, it itches forever, what is their pupose in my life? tomorrow i plan to light fire to each on I see. fire seems a natural death for a fire aunt.

                                       July 2

feel sick today. i didnt let it stop my mission. i came upon a lare pile. those hills are filled with them, anyone cane tell. like they think they will hide from me.

i filled up a gas jug with kerosene, slow burn, i dont want to go with them. i ware my sneakers, the white ones so as to see them if the got on my feet.i wiped my sneaker across the top of thpile they were every where, i decided the ones carrying the white things, which are eggs, i know this, not everyone does, kenny told me.. would be the ones to get. gasoline cans are a pain in the ass. the kerosine, with that sickening smell, i alwaysmell in the house during winter was getting all on my fingers.

i poured it as they ran out, then set a match to it. it really was a slow burn, i pored iton the ones that ran out a ways and lit a match to those too. when the kerosine causght fire, it stunk, what an exciting mess.

killing them that wa was a bore. i ran from the small exposion. again i slipped the lighter from my pants and lit them up one by one. one at a time. it was a wonder feeling. i killed many and i knew i alone had done something wonderful.

                         july 7

Big water bugs disgust me. gigantic roaches. so ugly i think alot about them these days.

I went to my doctor today. He wants to know what i thin my purpose in life is. what i think my purpose in life is? alot more then water-bugs. thats what i  told him. he looked puzzled, he always looks puzzled.

i went to the front desk asking for a different Dr. When the lady asked me why, I asked if she understood the fact that my life is more imprtant than the waterbugs wich plague me every night. I think I am awake, i could have been asleep though. they gave me a new dr. I know its not easy to get one. I wonder if it was something i said or something.

                                    Aug 12

    WOW, she is a doctor, I thought this. of course i am to much of a gentleman to tell her vocally she is hot.

i knew i was saving her from giant bugs. she would admire my bravery, surly.

  her name is Marly, or Beth, something like that. Anyway she asks the same questions.  i asked her why all the docs ask questions from the same script.

    She took off her glasses.  She likes me, i think.

    Jeremy, she asks, how old are you?

    I asked her if she thhought I was to young for her. she smiled, this is a good thing im thinking.   She crossed her arms over her chest, that was bd, a defensive move. I asked her if she was afraid of me.  She says no. her hair is the color of sand, her eyes, blue like the sky, she reminds me of the beach. I asked if she liked the beach.  She looked at her watch. Iknew it-----

 our time is up jeremy.

    she stood positioning her computer, then gave me med scripts.

   i said, i knew it.

    knew what?, there was that puzzled look.   Cant ask any personal questions huh, i knew that anyway.

  She said she would see me at the beginning of the week.

  okay,,, i called her katy, why did i call her katy... bugs, katy-dids.  I laughed and left her office.    shes pretty, she likes me, i think.